Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
The new wave of legalized marijuana is coming for the drinks landscape. That doesn’t just apply to the 24 states where recreational weed is baked into tax revenue. Thanks to 2018’s Farm Bill, cannabinoids derived from hemp are legal across the United States.
This means beverages made from Delta-8 or Delta-10 cannabis have quickly been coming to market. Across a landscape where hard seltzers have proven there’s demand for low-calorie drinks that provide a reasonable buzz, that could be a gold mine.
That’s mixed news for me. Alcohol will always be my one true vice, but I’m getting older and, thus, fatter. My face got roughly 15 percent wider the moment my daughter was born. I would like to cut out calories without cutting out my weekend boozing ritual.
But weed has never done much from me. Hits from bowls or vape pens have either had minimal effect or left me with headaches. Swapping out alcohol for THC has never been a 1:1 trade on my end. But Triple High Seltzer is trying to fix that.
The branding promises each can, made with Delta-9, will replicate the buzz of a standard beer or canned cocktail, which is a helpful reference guide. To that end, I’m gonna roll through all three flavors in the mix pack in one night and see where I land. THC drinks in the past have left me a little underwhelmed when it comes to overall effect. I’ll be pleased if this a) tastes good and b) shepherds me off to a restful eight hours of sleep.
Low expectations, sure. Let’s see if Triple can exceed them.
The smell off the top is mostly citrus, with a bit of the powdery essence you’d ascribe to most artificial grapefruit. There’s also a hint of weed in there, just like someone was smoking in the background of your continental breakfast.
You do get a little bit of that marijuana essence, but while it’s not ignorable it’s very minor. Mostly this is sweet grapefruit, tinged with enough sugary stickyness to avoid the bitter notes of La Croix or White Claw. Which, thank goodness. Getting too authentic with grapefruit flavor too often produces a seltzer that feels like after school detention.
It’s not a perfect tasting seltzer, but it’s solid enough and stacks up well to similar grapefruit offerings. After one I feel… pretty much the same as when I started. But if we’re on a 1:1 basis with beer, that’s expected.
We’re back to basics with the Honda Accord of seltzer flavors. The THC smell is more apparent off the top of this pour, though it doesn’t waft out of the can itself.
The taste is richer than expected. Instead of being a straight shot of bubbles and lime concentrate there’s a bit of complexity here. A little salt, orange and apple juice give this a bit of a heavier texture and the finish is more savory sweet than sour and a little … bready? Huh, it tastes like someone’s lime canned cocktail that I reviewed recently, but I can’t remember which one.
This, like the grapefruit, puts it a step above basic seltzers and into the range of the better cocktails out there. It took a recipe that could have stood on its “there’s THC inside!” laurels but instead made a tasty drink with replay value.
As far as buzz, however, it’s still pretty minimal.
It smells very tart from the top and moderately acidic. The first sip holds to that, walking a Sour Patch Kids line between sweet and sour and giving off some melted Italian Ice vibes.
When it’s nice and cold, however, it’s easy to pound. There’s a bit of dryness with that acidic flavor that does make it weirdly appealing. That’s much crisper when it’s icy vs. a little warmer.
While I would have appreciated a closer approximation to a Bomb Pop (that’s lime, anyway), it’s clear Triple is aiming for a more grown up palate. Their seltzers aren’t overly dry or sweet, which makes them easy to come back to over the course of a night or afternoon.
Unfortunately, I’m not getting much of that THC effect after nine milligrams. Maybe that’s just me. I did notice I slept a little better than usual and with vivid, pleasant dreams. So Triple’s got that going for it, which is nice.
This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Triple High Seltzer over a cold can of Hamm’s?
I’d drink it in between a couple beers, maybe. I like that it’s flavorful and low calorie. But ultimately I don’t really feel the same kind of mood-enhancing effect I’d get from three beers. 
This is a more fair comparison, but a limited one since I’ve only had a few cannabis-infused beverages thus far.
I’d put Triple ahead of MXXN, the cannabis-based whiskey/vodka/gin replacement that delivered minimal THC in a formula that forced it to be mixed to have any utility. But its effects and taste didn’t quite match up with Cann, which tastes better and promises more of a kick than its lighter counterpart.
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